12:05 a.m.
Sunday, February 20, 2005

MOVED TO HERE

11:46 p.m.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005

sunday vday dinner with tkgsax03 without shauna ate at billy bombers hmm hahaha was okaylah.

yesterday was fun hahahaha i love mj saxists okay i swear they rock like shit *huuuuugs them* vday dinner at popeye's! and hahaha so i heard it was the most embarrasing moment for me and soo kun hahah seven red big huggables plus one butt hahaha bloody taxis refused to stop butbutbutbut ahh i didnt regret buying and giving them those huggables hahaha yay i love them to bits :)

today was fun also went out with syahiiiiiiiiiiiid and salmiah hahaah sighhh after years okay after years finally i got to meet salmiah so yeah it was like we waited for that gay to finish his choir haha for 32490230424 years and we stoned then we played hide and seek in borders :) ahhh just like the oldoldold days so yeah it was funny watching their reaction when they first met salmiah was laughing like shit cos yeah syahid is ugly muahaha then got lost had dinner walked like shit got tired went home.

ahhh i'm enjoying life BUT TEN DAYS SHIT!

01:06 a.m.
saturday, february 12, 2005

its been a while someone's stealing my heart hmm issit just an illusion i dont know im confused but i dont want to settle down, not yet.

thursday i went cycling with my cousins and omg i almost killed them cos they made me walk/ ran for 129312km and it took 2398230hrs to reach the place so yes i killed them but wells i love them so much.

friday crashed tp omg it was bloody boring can concert was like uh whatthehell haha sigh i am so not going to crash tp ever again :)

bata please gofoyo you have no right to call my best friend a betrayer you bloody son of a bitch omg you make me hate you you make me hate the rest omg please just gofoyo sheesh.

10:52 p.m.
tuesday, february 8, 2005
nice day (:
we crashed tp; anu and i it was boring indeed we didnt know what to do so we decided to play uno we were just about to start the game when this teacher asked why we werent in the civics class so we told him we're just visiting our friends and he said we're wearing misleading costumes like hahaha so we hid inside the toilet (:

i miss syaf and i love syaf *huuuugs* it felt so so so nice having your dearest friend sitting next to you telling you everything and anything i love syaf haha wells tp people are nice hmm should i go there? haa see my results first i doubt i can get into anywhere hey seventeen days to go!

school ended at ten plus and we went to tm to meet the rest my god tm was crowded like sdmfdkfdjksn lah huh oooh i saw goh wit and some other people but i cant remember who everywhere was crowded so we ended up in bk ahh i miss my friends i miss talking to them eventhough i dont talk at times but stiiiill it was like the old days (: oh and hahaha what a small world syida is in weisheng's band muahaha i almost fainted and died.

went to pasir ris bowling alley and bowled and did stupid stuff and slacked at macs with three other guys who happened to be shearer's cousin and fizah's sweetheart and went home.

oh we received berita harian at 10 plus just now cute.

02:21 p.m.
sunday, february 6, 2005
takfree
skipped madrasah just now and slacked at khairiani's place. it was niiiice. i miss namirah and khairiani like hellhellhell.

had lunch with parents at airport and bought a new book :) oh i spoilt flesur's book opps.

salmiah called me as soon as i reached home. salmiah. SALMIAH. SALMIAH! my first best friend in the world. haha so we talked crap, about syahid and all the primary school stuff aaaaahhh. i miss salmiah like shit lah huh. oh and syahid's takfree from now on :D ehhh i miss that ghhhhuy.

we're going out again yay!

10:49 p.m.
saturday, february 5, 2005
memorable, indeed.
muahahaha. what a day. what an ass. and so shearer and dee came over to go to mandarin class together. then after praying someone said, "let's skip class." so the rest agreed.

i know it's not right to skip classes when you parents paid for it and they send you right to the door. wells, the three of us sort of get it from, err, God?

and so we were thirsty and mind you, pasir ris central is very, very boring. so there's this bubble tea shop at this corner. the aunty, then, was busy cleaning this soya bean vending thing. and so we stood there, asking our orders. she continued cleaning when suddenly splashhhhhhhhhhhhhh the whole soya bean thing toppled onto me. so. i. was. covered. in. soya. bean. the. whole. body. lah. omg.

it was smelly stinky sticky yucky and it looked like puke lah. shearer and dee were there laughing their heads off thank you lah huh. haha so we went back to the cc and cleaned me.

in the end we slacked all the wayyyy singing and singing. oh we saw syida's sister on the way and we raaaaaan muahaha.

cewekku jutek is the bestestest show ever. awwww sweet mann.

05:47 p.m.
saturday, february 5, 2005
eating squid heads AGAIN
went out with syahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid just now. he is damn ugly now lah he's changed alot. like ALOT. damn skinny lah huh. damn wells, ugly muahaha. okay i'm mean but haha so we just stoned, ok whats new huh? had lunch at delifrance, then he got migraine(sp.?) so we stoned again at mos burger.

actually we talked quite alot lah huh. ahhh, my bestestestest friend :) :) i finally found him after four years! haha and oh wow, his friends wanna see me like errr. but too bad i got chinese class tonight muahaha. wells, i heard everyone in macpherson knows me cos they were trying very hard to look for me. okay, that's kinda sweet lah. well. *huuuuugs* i love syahid :) :)

chinese class later. dee and shearer crashing wheee.

06:17 p.m.
friday, february 4, 2005

soo kit's. right. here.

muahaha so we did those huggable things :) :) and died halfway.

lol i thought sila's birthday was today muahaha so i went to call her but muahaha it's 4th of july muahaha.

k bye.

10:23 p.m.
thursday, february 3, 2005

happy birthday my dearest babiiii! X3

went to plaza sing then to ikea. i swear the west side of singapore is like, hostile or something. there's really something wrong with them. wells. it turned out that ikea wasnt that far.

so i heard we had the hardest time in our life deciding which to get. cheap or expensive ones. in the end, after 3120391223 hours, we chose the latter. haha "it's okay to change your mind". seven huggable things eh? hehe. wells at least theyre more appreciative than takings. i hope. i think. so after that waited for my parents to fetch us home. stoned for a long time at bk. and wells.

american idol is boring. haha maybe cos this is my third time watching this episode. smjhfsjkdflsdlfsjd. anyways soo kits coming over tomorrow. yay :D

09:29 p.m.
wednesday, february 2, 2005

so i was being really really dumb. i thought haryati was tiara all the time and i was like why the hell tiara wanted my uniform and since when tiara lives in seng kang. so i was there waiting for 'tiara' when i saw haryati stoning infront of me. i decided to ignore her at first cos we arent that close. so i called 'tiara' and she didnt answer. wells, just being nice i said hello to haryati and she was like 'where's the uniform?' i was shocked. haha so all the while i was dumb. muahaha.

went to meet chrissit and fabbit! i miss them so much X333 they rock can *imitates timmit* wells took the stuff from them and crapped shit and i bumped into this clarinetist i swear he stinks like shit muahaha. i miss the mj darlings! *weeps* well i sort of tertell chrissit about our plan. muahaha i cant wait to see all of them. haha but at least i saw fabbit :) :) :)

03:14 p.m.
wednesday, february 2, 2005

i dont have juniors. enough said.

swam 30 laps while soo kit stoned and read her book. haha 25cm head!

i love mj saxists. they rock :)

10:31 p.m.
tuesday, february 1, 2005

please do not curse wah lau please do not curse damn pissed off can please do not curse bloody shit company please do not curse cheat our money please do not curse cheat our time please do not curse cheat MY time please do not curse sheesh please do not curse SHEESH please do not curse *rolls eyes* please do not curse urgh please do not curse god this is hell please do not curse more than hell please do not curse sheesh them please do not curse fish them please do not curse i blamed my parents at first BUT i know they had good intentions so fish them please do not curse fish that bloody company whateveryournameis please do not curse fish every staff in that company for wasting our precious time please do not curse oh well FUCK.




so today's the first of feb muahaha 24 days to go muahaha i cant wait muahaha i really hope god will help me :) please help me god.

sighs. i'm being fickle, as usual. jc or poly? hmm.

03:57 p.m.
Tuesday, February 1, 2005

sndkasnjfhdowehnkasnldnphqwpihdklnf i do not receive any messages from anybody today. AT ALL. ksdnfsdklfmskldmfkk i am bloody pissed off.

10:15 a.m.
tuesday, february 1, 2005

i ran 5m and i died. so dee continued running while i walked all the way. hahaha yeah 'i'm going to lose 40kg in 25 days' rriiights. muahaha. so yes walked all the way. dee went crazy when i told her what's gonna happen in book six. muahaha. i looooooove her reaction.

okay back to dreamland :) i'm going to a seminar with my parents later. baaaaaaaah. how boring can life gets? oh shiiit. i need to take those things from fabbit. mhmh.

i think i might cancel my date with syahid tomorrow :( :( :( :( :( :( :( cos (a)i dont want people to see my ugly big fat disgusting pimples. mind you i have EIGHT of them thanks to my mother's whitening cream *siiiighs* (b)i dont have cash to treat him. soooo. next week then :)

03:36 p.m.
monday, january 31, 2005
http://www.bored.com/atikah
VERY BORED, CAN?

khairiani wanted to come here at first BUT she forgot to bring her ezlink kfndklnflnsdfnofnklsfonsdoifh

10:13 p.m.
sunday, january 30, 2005

actually da ger is u...i knw i'm nt supposed to fall for u...i tot of making frens wit u so u can talk all da gud points abt me to mirah....but insted i fall for u becaus of yr kindness towards me..accidently in love...sori to tell u dis nw..i juz cant keep it any more....if u dont wat to fren me after tis...its ok... all i can say is thx you for being my fren & gud bye... - amin

muahaha. life is funny.

02:09 p.m.
Sunday, January 30, 2005

im actually looking for this very special frenz of mine... we were frenz since primary one & we didnt see each other after our PSLE results & our very own farewell gathering... i kinda miz her alot & hav neva forget her... =( & i hope to continue our childhood frenzship... i hav found where she's schling but im too shy & afraid to sae 'hi'... aniwae her sch is BIG!! where e hell im going to find her. She is in an all gurl sch n wat will they think if i were to go in there... (i think e teachers will chase me outz =P) aniwae... her name is Nuratikah Bte Abdul Rahman... i hope to hear frm her soon... - syahid!

OMG!!! *tears*

01:39 p.m.
sunday, january 30, 2005

my skin is peeling off disgusting yucks eww ok shaddap.

madrasah was borrrring, even cikgu zain's period -__-"

still searching for syahid's friendster. hahaha i love that guy :) :)

my mother was being an ass so i heard second cold war has just started.

11:41 p.m.
saturday, january 29, 2005

I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.
I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.
I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.
I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.
I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.
I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.
I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.
I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.

thank you God. thank you so so much. i know i dont deserve this. but really God thank you. please make this happiness last forever. please.

after five bloody years - i searched for him online, offline, his school's yearbook, i called his old number EVERYTHING. i've been trying for five bloody years. - and he messaged me just now. OMG OMG OMG OMG i cant breathe. :) :):):):):):)

SYAHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!!! my first best friend in the world. OMG.

01:54 p.m.
saturday, january 29, 2005

saturday morning afternoon. *breathes in air*




sighs. boriiiing.


i miss namirah and khairiani :(

08:43 p.m.
friday, january 28, 2005

went to tp seminar shafiq was there SHAFIQ WAS THERE DAMMIT but too bad he was in the auditorium and he went home before i could even meet him smlkmfklsdmfkldmsklfm wells seminar was boring alot of people left during the talk so i heard we were the only ones in our row haha oh there were two gays infront of us hahaha

i want to take law

anu cancelled the run tomorrow i dont feel like running either i want to kill myself wait i got 27 days to live

twenty seven days TWENTY SEVEN DAYS

have you tried bk's chicken salad omg its delicious.

08:05 p.m.
thursday, january 27, 2005

went swimming with sk but cklsdnklmsdklmflsdkmfkow swam fourteen laps only how pathetic?! i dont care im gonna swim hundred laps tomorrow. rriiight.

and so we felt rather lethargic after that. oooh, the bk chicken salad is delicious micious. *yumyummm* borrowed four more books. haha i have like twelve books to read. :)

saw sheikh muhd firdaus bin sheikh daud at the interchange hahahaha omg i swear i almost puked. so i purposely walked infront of him haha. yuckness.

being fickle again. now i want to do law. what's next?

01:11 a.m.
thursday, january 27, 2005

i saw your name on my phone list
i thought
god i miss you.
i saw the letters you gave me
i whispered
god i miss you.
i saw your photos in my drawer
i said
god i miss you.
i saw your nick on msn
i shouted
god i miss you.
then i saw you and i know you were avoiding me
i thought, i whispered, i said, i shouted
god i dont care about you.

10:51 p.m.
wednesday, january 26, 2005
HAPPY SHAFIQ'S DAY!
went to tp for the test and interview. it was sucky i tell you. the test was crappy what nonsense design elephant logo. and what shit you have to be art critique. anyways, i chose the one with give three *something* for a space to be good and memorable. so i wrote crap. bright colours, simplicity and spacious. hahaha ohmy. what rubbish. and they asked me to sketch a building or a space, so i drew the dubai whatnot hotel. so they after the test, they said come back in one hour's time for the interview. called dorothy but she didnt pick up, so i stoned.

luckily there was this girl, who sat beside me during the test and i borrowed her pencil and eraser, asked me to eat lunch with her at the canteen. so yay i've got a new wells, nameless friend. walked around, then dorothy called so i met her for a while then walked and stoned around again with new nameless friend. and off for the interview.

sucky.

them: do you think you did well for the test?
me: erm, no?
them: yah. so *flips to the dubai hotel page* what is this? where you saw this building?
me: dubai? it's a hotel.
them: yah.
blablabla. i dont know what crap they said cos i wasnt even listening. so the bottomline is, i cant get in. HAH.

but i want to go tp. the school's cool and all. plus no PE and NAPFA. hahaha.

dorothy came over to my place cos she wanted to take the stuff but in the end we went to soo kun's house with my ugly guitar. AND WOW. soo kun *inserts word cos i forgot what word to use* the string while tuning. SHE DESTROYED MY GUIIITAR. NICE. yeah stoned and all, ordered macs, stoned again and stuff until nine.

thank you fabian for not helping me. fklmgmfkgfmdlkgm i'm angry but hahah at least i got to listen to his voice. muahaha. wells. oh, i told is i had a crush on him so the whole world went "WHAT?! OMG." nyahaha. so what? it's only a crush. annnnd i dont like him that much anymore. talk about fickle and desperate.

wells.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAFIQ SALLEHAN! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DO YOU KNOW THAAAAT?!

06:52 p.m.
tuesday, january 25, 2005
:D :D so fun
went swimming with dee in the morning. it was pathetic i swam fifty laps only. in four hours dammit. urgh. i wanted to do hundred but my muscles were killing me. oh they are still killing me btw. so we got burnt. i swear dee looks horrible. hahaha.

met anu at tm then we went to tp to meet the rest. I LOVE MY GIRLS :D :D :D :D so syaf and i decided to be gays. haha we were hugging and walking at the same time. i love syaf. i really really do. of course i love the rest too.

took 28 to mi. omg i swear i almost died in the bus. *faints and dies* ahh wells. it was nice sitting beside my darlings just crapping away.

the mi people were waiting for us. IS IS ISKANDARRRRR! *chants* hahaha. omg. is he cute or what? *grins* nyahaha. wells he got to go quite early so i felt blehhhh. bleh. but howells. at least i got to see him. *beeeeeems*

ate at spc ljs then me and syaf took mrt while the rest took bus home. I LOVE SYAF. :D

OH YEAH. exactly one month to go. wells you know what i mean.

/edit AND YES I DROPPED MY SIGG BOTTLE DAMMIT IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT NOW.

09:39 p.m.
monday, january 24, 2005

swam fifty laps just now :D :D but howell ate alot so i guess it wont make any difference. blehh.

wells supposed to fast today but but. yeah. mhm. i'm not making sense. i'm tired i shall swim 100 laps tomorrow. yay.

12:27 a.m.
monday, january 24, 2005

WHAT'S UP WITH MSN?! grrrr. and my layout is being a shit.

anyways trying to cheer myself up. oh btw yesterday morning i went to mustafa centre with relatives. wow. until five in the morning. wow. i swear it was the sensible thing to do. ANYWAYS. madrasah was boring. zzz. and after madrasah went to look for job with anu and dee.

haha so i heard everybody knows i like is. haha ohmann.

going swimming with my grandmother tomorrow. hahaha. life is funny.

10:24 p.m.
sunday, january 23, 2005

we were having dinner with my aunt and uncle when my mother mentioned that my father keeps on dreaming about the people who passed away ie my grandfather, my granduncle, my father's best friend. in this joking way, she said, my father's dying soon.

i felt like crying that instant. i felt like my life's over. it's like. oh my god. i really really really dont know what to do. God please help me. PLEASE God. i dont want my father to go. i need him. i need his love. i want him to see me grow. i want him to be the witness during my wedding ceremony. i want him to see my kids. i need him to be with me for the rest of my life. my father. my only father. the one i hasnt been talking for months. the one i choose to ignore. the one i love the most but i dont show it.

God, if i had only one wish, i dont mind failing my o's i dont mind getting bad results i dont mind not continuing my education, as long as i have my loved ones with me.

PLEASE GOD, HELP ME...

11:32 p.m.
saturday, january 22, 2005

pmsing like shit. urgh will you shut up?!

ANYWAYS bought a guitar yay. boo. i should have gotten the first hand one which costs 36 bucks but noo i went to the other shop and bought the second hand for 30 bucks. and it's like out of tune and stuff and urgh disgustinglah. budden everybody was like asking me to buy the second hand one. worth it, or so they claimed. *rolls eyes* haha.

ANYHOOS. girls' day out :D :D :D i love my friends to billion pieces. *hugs each and everyone of them*

my parents asked me to follow them to mutafa centre at 12am later. oh wow parents, how wonderful. AND so my cousin messaged me telling me that my cousins are going too. WOW. FAMILY OUTING, EH? *rolls eyes* they're really really weird.

10:04 p.m.
friday, january 21, 2005

absolute boredom. i swear today was boring like shit. went to grandmother's house and stoned/ fell asleep. like i always do. anyways played the game timtimitmmit taught us at chalet and wells was fun. in the end we played monopoly zzz.

i have fifty bucks with me. *beams* BUT it's from my piggy bank. so now it's like lighter. gah. but i want a guiiiitar *wails* i must get before my pre- death day. which is tomorrow. shucks. i'm getting my bills. egad. so to buy or not to buy?

going out with darlingdarlingdarlings tomorrow. YAY.

09:17 a.m.
friday, january 21, 2005

i love islam :) we're united, for instance, just now. mosque was really really crowded and people woke up at 5 in the morning just to pray together. i know i'm not a faithful muslim. i pretend to forget my daily prayers, i'm rude to my parents, i curse, i lie even thought i've gone to umrah twice. i know i dont deserve to have such wonderful parents who actually care for me. i know i dont deserve to have all the things i own. i know i only ask for your help when i need it. i take everything for granted. but really God, i want to be a better person. i' really really really sorry. please show me the right way.

anyhoos. saw syafiqah darling at the mosque and her second sister is damn pretty. haha. wells i didnt know pasir ris got alot of cute guys. yumyummmy -licks lips-

oh yeah again, happy aidiladha :D

12:55 a.m.
friday, january 21, 2005
aidiladha
i hate my mother, yes on a hari raya day/ night. i hate my mother. sheesh.

i had a sudden urge to buy a guitar just now. but dear mom refuses to give fifteen bucks to her one and only dear daugther. what a wonderful mother. i'm so proud of her.

then again, i'm left with twenty. forever. buy what shit?

it's a month to results. yay. i'm going poly. yup. oh. interview/ test next week. dear father wasnt being encouraging. he said my drawing looks like shit. wow. thanks ah.

07:08 p.m.
thursday, january 20, 2005

went to plaza sing with sk and then to somerset to look for a job with anu and dee. blabla. went home. saw sila and ashikin -huggsss- i miss them lots. and oh tp called.

btw, selamat hari rayaaaa.

05:26 p.m.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005

under construction

04:20 p.m.
tuesday, january 18, 2005

at sk's place now. learning how to play from this moment on guitar. i swear i hate guitars. and soo kun loves bananas. muahahahhahaahahahaha.

07:48 p.m.
monday, january 17, 2005
stinky smelly sleepy me
crashed mi. borrrring. but the people are fun (: (: and finally, after seven thousand two hundred and forty eight years i got to see my darling darling darling syahirah salim and diyana amin -hugs- and so they taught me the whateveryoucallthem games. oh and shauna messaged me in the middle of ohsoboring history lesson.

after school, had lunch we went to visit the rest at tp -beams- like myohmyohmy i met syafiqah, aishah and farah AT LAST. hugged and teared and all. it was really a short one cos it was late then, after they finished their hockey tryouts. gahhh. i miss them them them and very very very glad that i met them today :D :D :D

im still deciding whether to crash tp or not tomorrow. mhmm. and iskandar looks exactly like shafiq. cuter version? god i miss him.

06:08 p.m.
sunday, january 16, 2005
chalet
chalet was, erm okay. tho it wasnt as fun as tkgsax's, duh. we just stoned around. like yeah, you cant expect much. we hardly know each other. so everyone knows the five oclock game. yayy. couldnt believe they actually played along. haha wells. say it's great knowing all of them? (:

i dont know whether we're crashing mi tomorrow. i just wanna sleep and sleep and sleep.

she's a bitch. go fuck yourself, can?

03:18 p.m.
friday, january 14, 2005
life sucks
i dreamt something weird yesterday. my friends were there and we were enjoying, talking and doing stupid stuff like we normally do in this cosy place. i miss my friends. i really really really do. wish i could turn back time and do well for my prelims. wait- study for my prelims. sigh. life sucks.

was in the toilet shitting and i made up my mind. im going jc, if i can. but yeah im so not going poly. ill go jc with my friends and study damn hard. yup. please please please god. i really want to be with my friends. i want to go jc. please please please. sigh. life sucks.

i was thinking of him the whole bloody night. and i felt really stupid. if only i had said yes to him, i wouldnt live in misery. perhaps, id live happily ever after with him. maybe i should set myself on fire and watch him live happily with his girlfriend. sigh. life sucks.

chalet's in 2 hours' time and why am i not excited? i havent even packed my stuff and im like stoning down here. haiya. i dont wanna go. i want to meet my friends tomorrow. i want them i want them. sigh. life sucks.

see you on sunday.

09:44 p.m.
thursday, january 13, 2005
SHIBA
OMG EVERYBODY MUST GO WATCH MY BROTHER OKAY?!

omg i swear that movie rocks to the hell of it, though it's not as good as brotherhood but who cares. WON BIN'S IN IT. that's all. WON BIN IS DAMN DAMN DAMN HOT. no wonder he's mine. hahaha. (: but anyways, really. it's damn sad and stuff. go watch, or else.. haha and oh, SHIBA. LOL. i can just faint and die.

and so watched it with vera and sk at plaza sing. had dinner with my parents and now my father's being a bitch. wtf. anyways took the money from christine and back home.

and so, the chalet is tomorrow? shiba. haha the thought of it make me.. well. haha so we're just gonna stone and stone. :D shiba. and oh shit he's still on my bloody mind. shiba. sigh.

09:49 p.m.
wednesday, january 12, 2005

ookk. ive cooled down now. (: (: cos i just remembered i met shafiq sallehan just now. wheeeeeeeee. happy :D :D :D

08:39 p.m.
wednesday, january 12, 2005

have i told you that my mom is the fuckingest bitch on earth? yeah she is. FUCK YOU BITCH. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

09:57 p.m.
tuesday, january 11, 2005
won bin was like ... DUUUUH.
waited for shafiq sallehan but hobomofo he wasnt there so we made our way to imm and wow nobody was there so we thought we got the wrong place/ day/ time whatever and so we walked around and tadaaa saw this stage and crowd with won bin's poster so voila but mr won bin was nowhere to be seen so we went to the third level since people were occupying every inch and yahuh at last he arrived and ohmygod it was boring i swear he just talked in korean about his movie and of course i dont even understand the chinese translation so we got bored and went to look for the band world and well of course we got lost but smart sk found our way there and haha the shop was closed so we decided to go home but before that we went to buy roti mom like what the heck so cheapo lor and then we headed straight to tanjong pagar to turkish cafe (:

i miss my friends ):

02:13 p.m.
tuesday, january 11, 2005

im gonna see him and him later. oh the loves of my life. heh. well well i doubt he'd be there waiting for me but who cares. and him :D :D won bin won bin. whee. :D :D

11:34 p.m.
Monday, January 10, 2005

booo!!! hi i'm armstrong. oh my god i'm so fucking strong i can't stand myself. i swear my arms r muscular like nuts. speaking of nuts, she's making me nuts. i can't believe she can cook. ok bye.

06:02 p.m.
sunday, january 9, 2005
i swear youre haunting me
got another piercing :D i have five now. didnt expect my mom let me pierce but yay i love you dear mother.

madrasah was ohsofun. cikgu zain is my ustad -cheers- how lucky can i get? i swear i will never skip madrasah ever again. cikgu zain cikgu zain cikgu zain -chants- namirah was being stupid i swear i died sitting beside her :D

went out with my parents after that to bukit timah, to parkway, then to downtown east.

and so were having a chalet this friday. this friday omg. everythings happening damn fast. i really think its gonna be weird, like hmm, we barely know each other. but lets hope everything will go well.

so i heard, won bin's coming to singapore this tues.

OMG!!!

can i faint and die NOW?!! like now now now. but then, of all places he has to be at IMM. LIKE ermm. ok i shant spoil this excitement -grins widely- WON BIN WON BIN WON BIN :D :D :D

12:58 a.m.
sunday, january 9, 2005

i wanted to forgive and forget but soo kun called and reminded me about it again. its sickening thinking of it. and im disgusted. hmprh.

ok happy thoughts.

happy.
happy.
happy.
happy.

blah its not working. im depressed again.

09:27 p.m.
saturday, january 8, 2005

shauna has left. mhmm. it wont be the same without her around. weird. but yeah life has to go on.

so i fell asleep doing shauna's paper bag yesterday. please, i was super tired and all. woke up this morning and realised i had alot shit to do. i rushed like mofo but yeah had to leave house to meet the other three.

sk and vera were outside bedok swimming complex when i reached. waited for phut for dontknowhowmanymillionyears. mhmm. in the end we didnt go to the gym. haha so i did some of the designs outside there.

phut wanted to buy sport shoes so we ended up going to orchard. did more oral sex with teddy and i died. blabla alex got her shoes and jy met us at taka. completed the paper bag and i felt like shit. i swear taka i crowded and packed. it was five oclock, or so sk claimed.

rushed to airport cos we knew we were damn late. dorothy, yixuan and lizzy were there waiting for us and mhmm we sent shauna off. i wanted to cry, but, something just irritated me. really i got so pissed off. mhmm, but nvm i shall just forgive and forget.

left earlier than the rest to go mandarin lesson with syida, her sis and the fiance. class was full and fun. learnt mrt stuff and i forgot all of them. haha basically i was talking to syida. :D

religious class tomorrow i dont want to go dammit. i have to wake up early what the fuck. hmph.

i want more piercings. i dont care.

09:09 p.m.
friday, january 7, 2005
5 oclock
today was shit like fuck but im glad vera and sk were there to cheer me up and we did stupid stuff, what else? haha 5 oclock shit :D :D :D

and so in the morning joanna ortega came over to use the net. mhmm. i think im too forgiving. okay whatever.

went to century to look for the shop but ohnoboso shop got renovated, whatever nonsense. asked around and anu told me to go to the paya lebar factory there. went all the way there. and i swear it was ulu-ated and very dark. so many construction workers and they were staring. i was bloody scared lah. so at last, found the shop. wtf that lady charged me 80bucks for one bloody teeshirt. fuck you. i got pissed and cursed at her. and she was like ok twenty five last price. but hah when i told her whether it cnould be done by tomorrow she started to shout at me, "no tomorrow. crazy ah? mon lah." i stormed off. what a bastard.

stuck in the middle of paya lebar road when i remembered the shop near the bus stop. went all the way there and i swear i was sweating like mofo. and bear in mind i didnt sleep the whole day cos i was doing that stuff and my fingers got numb. so i was bloody tired.

entered the shop, everybody stared and wow when i told the man i need only one tee he was like, "no no we dont do ONE only. what a waste of time. if you want you pay 150." "fuck you," i said and i dashed out of the shop without realising i knocked down this purple crystal near the door and it went 'crashhhhh'. there was silence and i ran like hell. omg i swear i almost died. BROKE CRYSTAL INTO MILLION PIECES AND RAN. crazy or what?! so i hid behind the bulldozer not and ran to city plaza. im still wondering whether the man report the broken crystal to the police. mhmm. okay at least i wasnt in any uniform.

called every single one but nobody answered. so i cursed loudly in the middle of the whole world and everybody turned to look. sheesh.

then took bus to mp lib and met shauna there. ongehongeh. we went to parkway to meet sk and vera. shauna had to leave soon after that. so left the three of us again. sk calls it deja vu. haha. i swear i love both of them :) took cab to tampines. while waiting for phut, we went to spotlight and did stupid stuff. by then, everybody was lethargic.

phut took ages to reach tm then we walked around and stonned in pizza hut. after eating we left pizza hut WITHOUT PAYING. until i realised something was funny so i asked, "did we pay just now?" silence. haha then sk went inside to pay. LOL. pizza hut didnt check lor. tsk, i regretted realising the funny part.

and so joanna ortega was there too, as so she claimed. walked around at century and hahaha we saw this disgusting picture of jay like what the fuck was he doing. LOL. i swear it's gross lor. i mean he is already yucky, plus that freakingwhatevershithewasdoing. OMG we laughed like shit. hahaha -imitates jay-. vera was being disgusting, as usual. she forced me to do oral sex with the furry thing. OMG.

my mom wants me to go melbourne and study with shauna. she haha with 36points, go where? LOL. my mom is too stupid, i swear. and she asked me to call shauna's mom cos she wants to talk to her. what nonsense. haha.

been deciding whether to go jc or poly. mhmm but obviously i cant even step into any jc. i was quite surprised my parents let me go poly. where's the if-you-cant-get-into-jc-we're-migrating policy. sheesh. parents are so fickle-minded. mhmm but i might consider nafa. ..

i didnt sleep the whole day yesterday. i want to sleep lah. mhmm. but i got the thing to do. haish.

10:06 p.m.
Thursday, January 6, 2005

LOL. so its ongehongeh. not ngeongngeong. -laughs and dies- soo kun is weird i swear. ongehongeh. what rubbish fucking nonsense is that?!

madrasah results! i'm second last. haha i dont give a damn. i didnt retain anyways. what the heck. which means ive got to get up early every sunday. sheesh.

she sucks. big time.

06:34 p.m.
Thursday, January 6, 2005

i laughed until i puked.

no, really. haha. met shauna at bedok to pass her the amaths book and oh she looked as if she's going to the market. haha so we talked crap and haish i'm gonna miss that girl damn badly.

so after that me and sk went to plaza sing and vera joined us later. haha oh my god. can i slap vera's face? she's this retarded ass who sucks like hell but haha i love her so much. so we laughed and laughed like hell and what the hell is ngeongngeong soo kun?! haha. -faints and dies- had lunch at swensens and we got bloated. crapped like shit. and died.

well, i was boarding the bus at pasir ris and wow my left shoe had to come off. everyone was there waiting and looking wondering why there was a shoe at the steps. and so i heard there were some guys saying, "eh cinderella, cinderella." get a life.

everybody's depressed lately. tsk. be gay people.

11:57 p.m.
wednesday, january 5, 2005

omg. how stupid can it get? we went back to tk almost at the same time just now and wow nobody saw each other. that was really really dumb. omg. can i like kill myself?! god. i miss
.syaf
.syida
.shearer
.aishah
.asz
.diyana
.farah
.anu
.err, joanna

life sucks. but im happy this way.

09:11 p.m.
Wednesday, January 5, 2005
i'm married
.im so not going back to see/ visit the juniors ever again. hate me, i dont give a shit. who cares about them anyways. i still think we are the best juniors, like come on. eventhough band was tiring like fuck, we didnt snap at them. we didnt ignore them. we were so happy to see them come back. but urgh whateverlah. just put it this way; theyre not appreciative. so i guess by tomorrow everyones going to say atikah sucks. hah. like i said, i dont give a shit.

i'm married to shauna :) she proposed to me just now. so she's my honey bun now. haha what the hell. supposed to have dinner together but shauna had to leave and phut betrayed us. so yeah left the two of us. i swear im getting sick and tired of soo kun haha. but oh well shes my darling :)

so we got pissed, annoyed, angry and bla. and we decided to talk about mj darlings. haha. oh my i miss them lots.

03:21 a.m.
wednesday, january 5, 2005

it's three in the morning and i just realised something - i'm fat and useless. i suck and everybody knows that. can i just end my life? damn it sucks too.

dieting plan started yesterday. an apple and six glasses of water only. oh wow it didnt work. mom forced me to eat. sheeshness. i think she's too blind to realise that her daughter is turning into an elephant.

i can't believe my own best friend is a bitch. i hate her. please eat shit and die i will not care about you. i wont bother you anymore. have a nice life.

01:30 a.m.
Tuesday, January 4, 2005
brr
i messaged her like twelve times; maybe more. and she refuses to reply. what an ass. fine, i shall be mean and ignore everybody tomorrow. hah. my eyes are dying so i guess i'll continue designing the stuff tomorrow. wait - i barely started. bleh. everything's irritating me. oh he called yesterday. haha. what a jerk.

10:23 p.m.
Monday, January 3, 2005
i miss my friends
thank you soo kun :D you rock and i love you. haha.

it was a bad day. everyone was staring at us when we were on the train giving the whatthehellyouredoingherelittlekids look. went to nafa for nothing. haha we got lost and tada it turned out to be a course or whatever. and of course we didnt know what to do so we left after that. such a waste of time.

i decided to look for a job so we settled down at the foodcourt. soo kun had her breakfast and wow i bought the straits timw for the first time -clapsclaps-

-cuts story short- we went to watch movie instead. oh i was fasting actually but the nachos were too tempting so i broke my fast. and i swear that cinema sucks cos the seats are too high for me -grumbles-

then to citilink and raffles and home.

soo kun was being mean after that. woman, thank me for being so nice. haha. well well. fish I AM FAT. no wait OBESE. -faints and dies-

01:17 a.m.
Monday, January 3, 2005
Back
back after a long long time :)) ahh it feels great to sit infront of the comp, though it still sucks bigtime, having in mind that there is no school tomorrow -beams- i want to go to school but i guess its better staying at home. :D

btw happy 2005. i know this is abit late but you havta blame it on my computer.

-unexpected- things happened last december. god they happened real fast. anyhoos i enjoy every bit of them.
. section chalet
. trip to bangkok and spent money like hellhell
. mjc concert <3333
. trip to kl and stoned
and tomorrow.

haha tomorrow tomorrow. i wonder what's going to happen.

i miss my friends and i need a new layout thanks.

08:17 p.m.
Tuesday, December 7, 2004
:D :D :D
Just reached home. Today was fun fun fun. Didnt go running with Phut and Shauna since it was raining So, went out with Namirah and Khairiani fun fun fun. I swear I love them like hell :D Well went to Plaza Singapura. I swear I'm sick and tired of that place, but nvm. So yupp. Wanted to watch movie at first but there wasnt any nice shows. In the end we walked around and talked nonsense and took lots of pictures. Too bad I cant post it here. Bleh. I love them I love them. <333

Saw Diyana, Farah, Anu and Aishah :D Haha they were looking for jobs. I want to work too, but my parents refuse to let me. Hmprh.

Well. My cousin had an accident. Her fingers were crushed or something? I really dont know. I hope she's fine -prays-

Anyways bought this skirt at Ebase for ten bucks. -beams- Actual price is forty-three -beams- Haha so nice :D

Merry Christmas :D

04:01 a.m.
Tuesday, December 7, 2004

It's four am wtf. Haha I've been online for 9 hours :D :D Whatthe. Hello Nur Atikah, you are using dialup you bloody ass. Anyways quite happy with my layout. Been looking for 'Let it Snow' song for my blog. But, nobody has it.

Yesterday went out with Phut and Shauna. Shant elaborate cos my eyes are dying and I'm supposed to run with them tomorrow morning at 9. Oh wow.

Merry Christmas :D

11:57 p.m.
Sunday, December 5, 2004

Oh yeah. My cousin had to tell me who's the American Next Top Model. Grrr. I've been trying so hard not to know. Urgh.

I woke up at 10 just now. My parents too. Haha see how tired we are (:

I miss the three of them ): And Alex is taking ages.

06:04 p.m.
Sunday, December 5, 2004

Cousins left quite some time ago. Not much money earned tho. But ahh nice having cousins here. :D

Madrasah exams was full of shit. I wrote 'Taufik Batisah :)' all over in my Arab paper. Hello. I did not know what the hell they asked us to do. And I was busy messaging Joanna who wanted her sop sax back jdjkandkald. Anyways finally, I got to meet my darling best friend :) What a joy. She's getting prettier, no? Haha. Went home with Diyana after exams.

Running tomorrow with Phut and Shauna. Errr I run? Haha omg this is so hilarious. But well. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. Yes. Kill Vera for not joining us tomorrow. Hmph.

04:23 a.m.
Sunday, December 5, 2004

Uploaded alot of pic, including racial harmony.

It's 4.23 am and everyone's still awake, my family I mean. Open house tomorrow. Brrr. But it's okay. Hope I get money :D :D

Madrasah exams later but haha I cannot be bothered. Havent even opened the books. I dont even know what to study. Grrreat.

I miss him. Badly. I want him. Now.

07:06 p.m.
Saturday, December 4, 2004

I'm in MJ band. I'll be playing for the concert. Wow.

Thanks Soo Kun for changing my life. :D

I still dont want to play for the concert. I am forced to. Brrr.

09:08 a.m.
Thursday, December 2, 2004
TAU FIK WON
TAU FIK WON :D :D :D

Slow, but who cares. I love him, I love him.

Went jalan raya on Tuesday and I swear it was memenat-ing. Went to Syaf's, Fizah's, Diyana's, Cikgu Zain's, Azidah's, Indah's, Syida's place. Then I had to follow my parents and grandparents to other places while the rest continued to Shearer's and Aishah's place. So they're jalaning raya today, but I have well.

Due to boredom went out to watch Shutter with the rest -grins- I HATE GHOST STORIES. Well, I didnt watch it at all tho. Was busy hugging Syaf/ SMSing/ closing my eyes/ grabbing Diyana's sweater :D Hmmm.

Soo Kun's dyeing/ dying her hair this morning. Nyeheheh.

I'm seeing him tomorrow. I'm meeting him tomorrow. -beams- I am happy.

10:21 a.m.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004

My computer is being a fucktard. It loves to restart by itself and I swear it’s annoying. Long bloody entries suddenly –poof- What a jerk. Computer, please get a life.

I realised I’ve been cursing a lot lately.

Anyways. Tried –so hard- to get Ms Johara’s address. We want to go to her house okay. But err well, her nephew doesn’t even know where she stays. Brrr. He said : well then, whoever you are, too bad.. I have no freakin idea where she lives.. seriously.. other than the fact that she it’s near masjid kassim.. so good luckfinding –winking smiley- Forwarded the message to Syida and she replied funnily : wtf. Ckp ngan dier berdosea dia kalau tak mahu mengeratkan silaturrahim antara muslimah. Tell him go be a pig. He’s a loser. But I really don’t blame him. Why should I ?

Safiyah messaged me after a long, long time. art, can I cum to ur house in the morning n print sumting? I need to print my resume, I got job appointment tomoro. Tu pun kalau tak keberatan lah. At around 10 in the morning. I stared at her message for quite some time. I was being nuts, really. It’s just so, weird. Safiyah, of all people. Hmm life is funny. Well I do miss her sometimes. We used to have fun; long phone calls, laughing our asses off, gossiping. I guess they’re all memories for me to treasure.

Well jalaning raya later :D :D :D Money money money. Hehe.

08:40 p.m.
Monday, November 29, 2004

Went out today. To Suntec at first but there wasnt any Shutter. So we went to Plaza Sing. Wanted to watch Shutter but it was sold out. Tried Saw but I didn't bring my EZLink and Farah is still fifteen, so yah. In the end we watched Taxi. Nice showlah. Funny. Syida was laughing like hell. Typical Syida.

Just uploaded all the prom pics. My friends are pretty <3

I'm freaking bored.

09:06 p.m.
Sunday, November 28, 2004

Mom told me she has $4.30 left. I feel really, really, really bad. My family's having financial problems; my father hasnt been teaching the past three months, therefore his income is lower. So there my parent struggle to earn money, here I am spending, or rather, wasting money like fuck. And I mean fuck.

I straightened back my hair. Thirty bucks. THAT'S wasting money. I've wasted ninety bucks on my hair. Sixty for perming which lasted for two days, and straightened it back just now. Okay, some of you may think ninety is NOTHING. But I'm not rich, really.

I'm sorry.

I think I've spent more than 300 for prom. Fuck me. And wow, I'm watching movie(s) tomorrow = wasting money. But nvm, Syaf's treating me (: And I havent replaced my EZLink. Sucks.

But yay, no more fucking shit curls.

03:51 p.m.
Sunday, November 28, 2004

Fuck, I am damn bored. Wells was looking at the prom pic. I HAVE A CRUSH ON ALEX SEAH <3333

Kwang hair is bing fucking annoying wtf. Hmpph.

09:46 p.m.
Saturday, November 27, 2004

Prom last night <3

1. They got ready at my place and I swear it was havoc. But DIYANA WAS FUCKING HOT -melts- and Farah looked like Shandi ANTM. Okay, the nine of them looked gorgeous except for me with my ohsocurlylikeshit hair and I looked spastic with my fats jiggling about.
2. I wore eyeliner and heels for the first time. Haha.
3. Singapore Swimming Club wasn't that bad.
4. Everyone looked super gorgeous eg Filzah Rohaidi OMG I love that bitch and her dress WAS really KICKASS. Soo Kun looked superb. She HAS something to show anyway. Alex was bloody pretty OKAYYY. -faints-
5. Our table people were the decent ones.
6. I had a crush on Chyi Lyn our lovely 4/8 princess :)
7. Fannison was Ms TKGS :))
8. Programme was boring, yet nice.
9. Dancing part was superb. Everyone was freaking high. 10. Ending was sweet. <3 Hugs and tears.

Took pictures, nice. I love them. But I look stupid and fat in all. Blehh. I'll post later yeah. Well after prom went to town with SK, Alex and Shauna and had supper at LJS. slept over at SK's place.

I guess I'm officially out of TKGS. Four years and it happened real fast. I love my friends. I love TKGS <3. I'll miss them.

09:55 a.m.
Friday, November 26, 2004

MY HAIR -wails- MY HAIR -wails- MY HAIR!! Urgh bloodying freaking hair.

Anyways where are my friends? Hmph. I want to die.

11:41 p.m.
Thursday, November 25, 2004

Weird. We had conference calls but there was nothing to talk about. Ten years of friendship and really, we're getting distant. I miss them. <3

Sleeping over at Soo Kun's place, no? Haha :D :D

08:46 p.m.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
KESIALAN
MY HAIR. MY FREAKING HAIR. MY FREAKING EFFFING HAIR. It's half straight, half permed. UGLY UGLY UGLY. Omg eff that efffing hairdresser. Argh. I've wasted sixty bucks for this freaking shit.

Enough said.

Soo Kun swam in a square. Hahaha. Omg, I swear she's freaking lousy. Lol. So after swimming for ONE hour, OMGthatwasfreakingshort. Thanks to Soo Kun. Haha. Well after that we went to take the video recorder from my cousin, then we made our way to Plaza Sing to, well, buy something. Bloopbloop. Went Bugis to wait for Alex and Shauna. Walked around and decided that Bugis is too ex for everything. So in the end, we went to East Point.

Permed my hair there. Wtf.

Well, prom's tomorrow. So excited! Not. Blehhhh. Friends are coming over at 12. And I swear I dont know what to do to my hair. Damn annoyed lah!

04:58 p.m.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
EFFFING DAY
Damn you computer. I wrote this long entry and -pooof-. And I don't know why most cannot see this layout. Weird.

It says here: Based on the combined results of the 2003 GCE 'O' Level examination and the 2004 school preliminary examination, you are not eligible for the pre-u course.

Wtf. I'm such a loser. Everybody's applying for MI. I want to go there too, BUT. Bleh. Don't know whether I should try appealing. Hmm but howell I want to stay at home and get fat -grins-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RASYIDA DEAR :D :D I love you like hell. Sorry we didnt get anything for you, but I hope the eggs and flour on you were great? Okay that was my idea and I'm sorry for that.

So Syida had her happy day but not for me. I drenched my pinafore with Hor Fun gravy and I lost my EZLink and money. Effff. Fortunately, I did not bring much, I think. And wow, I just topped-up my EZLink. Talk about happy birthday.

Ok whatever.

Had lunch at Banquet Parkway where I drenched my pinafore. Then we made our way to Ova, Bugis. OMG I love Ova's clothes. :D :D :D So bloody nice -squeals- Haha then we went to Parco, and I saw my dear Soo Kun with Wanting. Hmm. Walked walked and went home, then I realised I lost my wallet. Wtf.

So tomorrow I'll be very busy. Swimming, gym, manicure, hair. :)

11:21 p.m.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Life's getting better. I like. :D He called and messaged me. Happy happy :D :D Anyways. Went to Plaza Singapura and watched Princess Diaries with Syaf, Aishah and Syida. I swear I love my friends and I swear I'm flat broke. Spent 60 plus, not that much BUT I need more to buy other stuff. Brrr. Went visiting and got -some- money. Okay, that's what I like about visiting. You get paid for doing nothing (:

Ahh so there's school tomorrow. Wtf. such a waste of time for me, duh. They just want the failures to feel bad for not studying hard enough to qualify into JC. Pffft. I don't want to go back.

Syida's birthday tomorrow. Was thinking of doing something dirty -evil grin- Hehehh. But she got it from us just now. :D Wells. Oh yes PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT.. PLEASE DON'T TELL ME. My mom keeps puking and -well-

Hmm, she did it again BUT I don't care anymore. I'm, well, don't knowlah.

10:39 a.m.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Morning world. Going out soon. Mylifemylifemylife -beams- I'm back to my old self (:

02:00 a.m.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
CHAPTER ONE
Freedom, if you want to put it that way. OLevels are finally over. Please remind me not to worry about the fact that I did not study very hard for all the papers, neither have I done my best. Give me a chance to get my life back and enjoy it to the fullest before I get back my results.

So I shopped for nine hours yesterday. :D :D I can't wait for prom. No, actually I don't feel like going. I love my dress but I'm too fat for it. Damn, I hate those dangling fats. Brrr.

Omg I'm dying. My legs are dead.

click here